Leaders must provide timely feedback to their team members, even if it makes them uncomfortable. This is good advice – most of the time. However, there are some situations in which you should not give feedback...
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"A leader must NEVER avoid giving feedback to their team members. Do you agree?".
This was my question to a team of experienced leaders participating in a group coaching session on providing effective feedback.
“I disagree!” said Chandra*.
“I’ve learnt to not give feedback when I’m angry – it just doesn’t work out. I find it better to wait until I am calmer“, Chandra continued.
He was right. Leaders should certainly avoid giving feedback when they are angry. They should wait until they are calmer, and are in more control of their emotion.
When Leaders Should NOT Give feedback
Leaders must provide timely corrective feedback to their team members, even if it makes them uncomfortable.
This is good advice – most of the time. However, there are situations when you should not give feedback.
Some of these situations are:
When you are not in the right frame of mind. Remember, the message may be tough, but you need not / should not be nasty.
When the receiver is not in the right frame of mind. If the receiver is in shock or emotionally overcharged, wait for a more appropriate time
When you know only half the story. It is better to ask the recipient what happened and hear out their side of the story. Avoid diving straight in to what you want to convey
When the feedback is not about the recipient’s behaviour. Avoid giving feedback on what you cannot observe - when it is not about behaviour, but your conclusions (assumptions really!) about his/her attitude, intent etc
When you know that the change you seek is not in the recipient’s control. Systemic challenges, resource constraints, poorly conceived policies - they are all frustrating, but if they cannot be changed by the person in front of you, your feedback is pointless.
In any of the above situations, it would be better for the leader to wait for a more appropriate time. Or until they have verified that they are addressing behaviours that are in the recipient’s control.
What are some other situations in which you have found NOT giving feedback the right thing to do?
This is an updated version of a blog post originally published on August 17 2016
