On Giving Critical Feedback

Leader's dread giving critical feedback. I know - it was something I struggled with as a new manager. And in my work with leaders and high potentials, many rate giving corrective feedback effectively as one of the areas holding them back from creating the impact they desire.

Often, what comes in the way of giving negative feedback is our deep seated desire to be liked. This is an innately human need, but like other basic needs in Maslow's hierarchy, unless we rise above this, we will be unable to achieve our potential as humans and leaders. We will fail to bring about the significant positive change we seek - for our organisation and for the people we work with.

Leaders are also concerned about the consequences for their relationships with team members and the ability to influence and engage them. While this fear appears to be justified, it isn't. Research conducted by consultants Zenger/Folkman suggests that employees want corrective feedback from their manager, because they believe it will improve their performance. So, if you are a leader committed to helping your people get better and grow, you owe it to them to give constructive feedback in an authentic and timely manner.

I've previously written about how to deliver negative feedback comfortably. The key here is to provide critical feedback in a constructive way. Constructive means your focus as a leader is on improved outcomes - for the organisation and for the individual.

 
Here are some tips that leaders I have worked with have found useful:

Examine your own beliefs and values. How do they influence your perception of the situation and the individual's contribution to it. Are your assumptions sound? Are biases clouding your assessment?

Be specific. This not only helps to focus the conversation, it also prevents the dialogue from degenerating into an argument because generalisations are easy to counter.

Focus on the behaviour. Your goal is to change behaviour so as to improve outcomes. Also make sure their behaviour is within their control, and not dictated by constraints or other factors beyond their control.

Keep the message tough, not the delivery. Sometimes, especially when you have let the situation deteriorate by not giving feedback early, you have to deliver a very hard message. However, it is useful to remind yourself that a tough message can be delivered in a calm and respectful way.

Don't skirt around emotions. Emotions are natural and need to be addressed. At the same time, learn to manage your own emotions, and to help others manage theirs. This is important because we are all vulnerable to emotional contagion (the tendency to be triggered by others' emotions) and emotional hijack (where our burst of emotions significantly reduces our ability to think and act rationally)

Hear the other person's point of view. In most cases the information you have is partial, and it helps to hear the other person's perspective. Also, if your objective is to get the other person to change their behaviour, it is unlikely to happen if they do not feel heard

Get them to come up with the solution. While it is tempting to provide answers based on your experience and expertise, it is counterproductive. Changing behaviour needs significant commitment on the employee's part - and this is difficult unless they own the solution.

End on a positive note. I do not recommend the feedback sandwich, where you try to soften the harshness by book-ending something positive before/after your "actual" feedback. However, there is merit in ending on a positive note - by expressing your confidence in your team member, and reiterating your commitment to help them grow and succeed.