[Random Musings] Why Successful Leaders Find It Difficult To Change

Successful people are strongly motivated by past success. They believe, “I have succeeded, therefore I will succeed”. While this belief helps them face challenges confidently, it can also lead to their denying any need to change.

Successful people also have a strong belief in their capability to make desirable things happen. They believe “I can succeed, therefore I will succeed”. They are very confident that their personality, talent and intelligence can steer things in their favor. This belief gets reinforced with every achievement. Eventually, the leader starts believing that they are successful because of the way they behave

Successful people are almost always optimists – they believe “I will succeed”. This is important – because thinking otherwise can be disempowering. However, this optimism can also make it very difficult for successful people to say “No”. They can thus find themselves drowning in a “sea of opportunities”. Often, this belief can also make leaders overcommit on behalf of their teams. This often leads to poor morale and increased stress within their teams.

Successful people have a high need for self-determination. This is the belief that they are doing what they choose to do. That they are successful because they “choose to succeed”. This determination and commitment is a strength, since it helps them persevere and see things through when times are difficult. However, it can also make it difficult for them to stop doing something, even when it is not working! It is hard for winners to quit! Also, they have great distaste for being controlled or manipulated. So they find it difficult to change, when they are “told” to do so.

These four beliefs, “I have succeeded – I can succeed – I will succeed – I choose to succeed”, working together create a delusion – the success delusion. And this delusion can sometimes make successful leaders repeat ineffective and dysfunctional behaviors – because they become superstitious. And they confuse being successful “despite the behavior” with being successful “because of the behavior”.

If you look hard at yourself, you might find certain quirks or unattractive behaviours. Let’s say people tell you, that you should listen better. You know it annoys your friends, family or coworkers. Yet you continue to behave that way because you tell yourself – “this is me. I have been successful because of who I am, and I cannot succeed if I stop being myself”. If you feel this way, it is very likely that you are suffering from the success delusion. To overcome this delusion, one needs to be constantly vigilant. One needs to ask – “Am I successful because of this behaviour, or despite it?”

For a successful leader, the first step is to realise it is hard for her to change. To acknowledge that some of her beliefs and behaviours may have outlived their utility.

The second step is to get in to the habit of asking his stakeholders – “How can I improve”?. For this to work, he needs to suspend judgment and the urge to defend himself. He has to accept that the stakeholder may be right about the need for change. The successful leader needs to make peace with the fact that she will only change what she chooses to change; that the motivation and commitment to change has to come from within her. The leader has to gather inputs from all key stakeholders. And then the leader has to decide what she will work on. She has to pick the changes that she believes will be right for herself and her organisation.

Finally, the leader needs to watch out against over-commitment. It is better to pick one behavior to change and see it through.

This is an updated version of a blog post originally published on July 27 2016